--[ 1 - WHAT THE HELL IS THIS
three questions every operator asks:
1. "what does it do?"
2. "is it legal?"
3. "why does the pig look disappointed in me?"
----[ 1.1 - THE ELEVATOR PITCH
PORKCHOP runs on M5Cardputer (ESP32-S3, 240MHz, 8MB flash).
it turns a pocket keyboard into a WiFi pentesting companion with:
- dual-band (2.4 + 5GHz) packet capture via ESP32-C5 coprocessor
- EAPOL handshake + PMKID extraction (hashcat 22000 + PCAP)
- dual-band GPS wardriving with WiGLE v1.6 export
- 2.4 + 5GHz spectrum analysis with sinc-function RF rendering
- BLE notification spam (Apple/Android/Samsung/Windows)
- beacon injection with vendor IE fingerprinting
- device-to-device sync via ESP-NOW (PigSync)
- a personality system with opinions about your choices
it's a learning tool for WiFi security research.
the difference between tool and weapon is the hand holding it.
wink. wink.
----[ 1.2 - THE LINEUP (what you're getting into)
words are cheap. pixels are evidence.
THE PIG IN THE FLESH:
*the pigs. awake. judging. 240x135 pixels of unsolicited opinions.*
THE HARDWARE NAKED:
*cardputer ADV + CapLoRa868. GPS + LoRa on a keyboard.*
*smaller than your phone. more opinions than your family.*
*the full loadout. everything the pig needs to judge your neighborhood.*
(photos missing? we're working on it. the pig doesn't pose for free.
the horse refused the photoshoot entirely. barn lighting was wrong.)
----[ 1.3 - HARDWARE SPECS
M5Cardputer (M5Stack StampS3):
(EAPOL has M1, M2, M3, M4. the hardware is M5.
the fifth message. the one the protocol never sent.
we are the frame after the handshake.)
- ESP32-S3FN8: 240MHz dual-core, 512KB SRAM, 8MB flash
- NO PSRAM (~300KB usable heap. every byte matters.)
- 240x135 IPS LCD (ST7789V2)
- QWERTY keyboard (56 keys)
- SD card slot (FAT32, shared SPI bus with CapLoRa)
- NeoPixel LED (GPIO 21)
- USB-C (power + serial)
Optional:
- GPS module: AT6668/ATGM336H (Grove port G1/G2 or CapLoRa)
- CapLoRa868 module (G15/G13 GPS, SX1262 LoRa shares SD SPI)
- M5MonsterC5 (ESP32-C5 WiFi 6 dual-band coprocessor):
Grove UART to Cardputer. runs JanOS/projectZero firmware.
the pig's 5GHz ear. plugs in. speaks 802.11ax.
optional onboard AT6668 GPS (forwarded over UART).
- Cardputer ADV: BMI270 IMU enables dial mode in Spectrum
- your legs, for wardriving. no judgment on wheels.
GET THE HARDWARE (the part where we sell out):
look. we're going to be transparent here.
these are affiliate links. we get a cut.
you get a pig. capitalism works (sometimes).
the pig doesn't mass-produce itself.
the pig needs a body. the body needs a store.
the store needs a link. the link needs a click.
you see where this is going.
M5Stack Cardputer ADV (the pig's body):
https://shop.m5stack.com/products/m5stack-cardputer-adv-version-esp32-s3/?ref=xqezhcga
CapLoRa 1262 (GPS + LoRa module, the pig's sense of direction):
https://shop.m5stack.com/products/cap-lora-1262-for-cardputer-adv-sx1262-atgm336h?ref=xqezhcga
buying through these links funds:
1. coffee (which becomes code)
2. code (which becomes bugs)
3. bugs (which become trauma)
4. trauma (which becomes coffee)
5. the circle continues. you're an investor now.
not buying? also valid. the pig judges purchases,
not people. clone it, build it, source it however.
open source means open source.
but if you DO click... the pig remembers its friends.
----[ 1.4 - ARCHITECTURE (for the silicon gourmets)
THE CORE:
cooperative main loop. porkchop.update() (SFX ticks inside),
Display::update(), Mood::update(). the pig's vital organs.
single PorkchopMode enum, 24 states. one mode lives. the others wait.
the pig is a finite state machine with infinite opinions.
the horse is a barn with load-bearing feelings.
THE MEMORY WAR:
no PSRAM means ~300KB internal SRAM for everything.
TLS needs ~35KB contiguous (kMinContigForTls in heap_policy.h).
WiFi driver init needs ~70KB (why preInitWiFiDriverEarly() exists).
the heap fragments like your relationship with sleep.
HEAP CONDITIONING:
boot runs a 5-phase ritual: frag blocks (50x1KB), struct blocks
(20x3KB), TLS test allocs (26KB, 32KB, 40KB). exploits ESP-IDF's
TLSF allocator for O(1) coalescing. the result: a clean brain
for TLS handshakes. percussive maintenance for memory.
the horse calls this "barn defragmentation."
the barn denies having a defragmentation problem.
the barn is the horse. denial is structural.
HEAP MONITORING:
heap_health.h samples every 1s. auto-triggers conditioning when
health drops below 65%, clears when it recovers above 75%.
adaptive cooldown: 15-60s between rounds (scales with heap state).
the heart bar at the bottom of the screen is heap health.
100% = clean. 0% = swiss cheese. the pig's blood pressure, basically.
THE EVENT BUS:
max 32 queued events, 16 processed per update tick.
MODE_CHANGE, ML_RESULT, GPS_FIX, GPS_LOST,
HANDSHAKE_CAPTURED, NETWORK_FOUND, DEAUTH_SENT,
ROGUE_AP_DETECTED, OTA_AVAILABLE, LOW_BATTERY.
the pig processes feelings through a state machine.
the horse processes feelings through a k-hole.
DUAL-CORE PATTERN:
WiFi promiscuous callbacks run on core 1 (WiFi task).
they CANNOT allocate memory or call Serial. instead:
callback sets volatile flags + writes to static pools.
main loop on core 0 checks flags and processes safely.
this is the deferred event pattern. it keeps the WDT happy.
WDT = Watchdog Timer. also What Did (The pig) Think.
STATIC POOLS:
OINK pre-allocates PendingHandshakeFrame pendingHsPool[4]
(~13KB in BSS). permanent. std::atomic indices for lock-free
producer/consumer between WiFi task and main loop.
the pig pays rent on memory it might never use.
NetworkRecon:
shared background scanning service. OINK, DONOHAM, SPECTRUM,
and WARHOG all consume the same getNetworks() vector.
spinlock mutex with RAII CriticalSection wrapper.
channel hop order: 1, 6, 11, then 2-5, 7-10, 12-13.
max 200 networks tracked. the pig has limits.
(200 is generous. the heap disagrees.)
JANUS HOG (ESP32-C5 COPROCESSOR):
the pig grew a second ear. the 5GHz one.
M5MonsterC5 board connected via Grove UART (115200 8N1).
runs JanOS/projectZero firmware. speaks scan, attack, monitor.
peripheral service like GPS -- runs every loop iteration,
zero heap allocations, all static BSS (~7KB total).
double-buffered scan cache (64 entries x2) prevents UI flicker.
5GHz networks injected into NetworkRecon transparently.
modes don't care WHERE the data came from. they just eat.
GPS forwarding from C5's onboard AT6668 when local GPS sleeps.
handshake file import via base64 framed transfer with CRC32.
the pig doesn't scan 5GHz. the pig DELEGATES 5GHz.
management is a skill. the pig has management skills now.
the horse would delegate too but the barn has no peripherals.
BOOT GUARD:
RTC memory tracks rapid reboots. 3 in 60 seconds = force IDLE.
crash loops get the nuclear option. the pig learns from pain.
the horse calls this progress.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--[ 2 - MODES (what the pig does)
one keypress from IDLE. zero menus. zero friction.
each mode changes the pig's vocabulary.
this is not a bug. this is character development.
----[ 2.1 - OINK MODE (active hunt) [O]
the pig goes rowdy. opinions about APs become actionable.
snout to the wire. tusks out. both bands.
CAPABILITIES:
- dual-band hunting (2.4GHz local + 5GHz via JanusHog C5)
- 7-state auto-attack state machine:
SCANNING = 5s network enumeration
PMKID_HUNT = clientless probe sweep (10-30s adaptive)
NEXT_TARGET = composite scoring selects next victim
LOCKING = channel hold, client discovery
ATTACKING = 2-phase deauth (knock burst + maintenance drip)
WAITING = 4.5s listen for M3/M4 after M1
BORED = 30s cooldown when no targets available
- promiscuous mode 802.11 frame capture (2.4GHz)
- EAPOL handshake extraction (M1-M4, validates sequence)
- PMKID hunting: clientless attack sweep across all APs.
auth + assoc per IEEE spec. 300ms timeout per AP.
64-bit bitset tracks probed networks. no re-probes.
(the AP just volunteers its PMKID. trust issues are real.)
- 5GHz background attacks: C5 coprocessor handles targets
on channels 36-165 in parallel. fire-and-forget dispatch.
45s timeout per target. the pig hunts two bands at once.
- deauth (Reason 7) + disassoc (Reason 8):
2-phase burst: knock (2 frames <3ms) + drip (1 frame/250ms)
bidirectional: AP->client AND client->AP
auto-pause on M1 observed (let the handshake happen)
- PMF detection: Protected Management Frames networks
get marked immune. the pig respects armor.
- targeted client deauth (up to 20 clients per network)
- broadcast disassoc alongside broadcast deauth
- hashcat 22000 export (WPA*02 handshakes + WPA*01 PMKIDs)
- PCAP export with radiotap + full beacon frame (Wireshark-ready)
- smart target scoring: RSSI (EMA-smoothed), beacon interval,
client recency, auth type penalty, partial handshake retry bonus.
proximity bonus at RSSI >= -40dB. the pig rewards proximity.
- heap-gated capture: checks pressure, fragmentation, capacity
before allocation. the pig won't OOM chasing one more frame.
LOCK-ON DISPLAY:
target SSID (or <HIDDEN>), client count,
capture progress (M1/M2/M3/M4 indicators),
quality score, beacon interval EMA.
BOAR BROS: press [B] to whitelist a network.
bros get observed, not attacked. the pig has honor.
manage in SYSTEM > BOARBROS. max 50 networks.
zero heap allocation (fixed array in BSS).
SEAMLESS TOGGLE: press [D] to flip into DO NO HAM.
same radio state. different conscience.
----[ 2.2 - DO NO HAM (passive recon) [D]
the pig goes zen. zero transmissions. pure observation.
the ether provides to those who wait.
CAPABILITIES:
- promiscuous receive ONLY (zero TX, zero deauth)
- adaptive channel timing with state machine:
HOPPING = scanning all channels (250ms primary, 150ms secondary)
DWELLING = found activity, staying for SSID backfill (300ms)
HUNTING = partial EAPOL detected, extended dwell (600ms)
IDLE_SWEEP = dead channels, fast sweep (120ms minimum)
- channel stats track beacons/EAPOL per channel
primary channels (1, 6, 11) get longer dwell times
dead channels (zero beacons across full cycle) trigger IDLE_SWEEP
- passive PMKID catches (APs volunteer PMKIDs in M1 frames.
you just have to be patient enough to hear them confess.)
- passive handshake capture from natural reconnects
- incomplete handshake tracking (shows missing frames,
max 20 tracked, 60s age-out, automatic revisit)
- some achievements here reward patience over violence.
the rarest catches go to the stillest hunters.
press [O] to flip back to OINK.
the pig remembers which side you chose.
----[ 2.3 - SGT WARHOG (wardriving) [W]
the pig goes tactical. salutes things.
starts talking about sectors and objectives.
now scans both bands. promotion deserved.
CAPABILITIES:
- dual-band AP scanning (2.4GHz local + 5GHz via C5)
C5 scan requests every 30s. 5GHz networks injected
into recon pipeline transparently. one CSV, two bands.
- GPS correlation with C5 fallback:
local GPS -> C5 GPS -> no GPS. pig tries every option.
haversine distance calculation for XP events.
jitter filter <5m, teleport rejection >1km.
- WiGLE CSV v1.6 export (WigleWifi-1.6 format)
- Bloom filter dedup (4KB seen + 2KB captured):
no duplicate entries. the pig has integrity.
reservoir sampling for unclaimed bounty networks.
- direct-to-disk writes (no entries[] accumulation.
RAM is for living, not for hoarding.)
- 400KB file rotation for upload compatibility
- grass animation speed tied to GPS movement
(the pig walks, the grass moves. immersion.)
BOUNTY SYSTEM: wardriven networks become targets for
PigSync. your s3rloin companion can hunt what you found.
max 15 bounty BSSIDs per sync payload.
manage in LOOT > BOUNTY.
FILES: /m5porkchop/wardriving/*.wigle.csv
no GPS? C5 GPS? pig tries both. if neither:
coordinates read 0.000000.
technically accurate. spiritually devastating.
get GPS. the pig deserves latitude.
----[ 2.4 - HOG ON SPECTRUM (RF analysis) [H]
pure concentration. the pig does math now.
real math. sinc functions. side lobes. both bands.
CAPABILITIES:
- dual-band spectrum visualization:
2.4GHz (channels 1-13, local promiscuous mode)
5GHz (channels 36-165, via JanusHog C5 scan cache)
[R] toggles band view. independent viewport per band.
- sinc-function RF carrier rendering (replaced Gaussian):
main lobe +/-11 MHz (actual 20MHz channel width)
two visible side lobes at +/-17 MHz and +/-22 MHz
activity-based jitter (2-5% amplitude modulation from PPS)
the pig renders physics. real spectrum analyzer energy.
- waterfall display: 22-row scrolling history (100ms/row)
dithered intensity mapping (8-200% shading)
- animated noise floor at baseline (randomized jitter)
- VULN indicator (WEP/OPEN networks. still? respect.)
- BRO indicator (networks in boar_bros.txt)
- filter modes: ALL / VULN / SOFT (no PMF) / HIDDEN
- render snapshot buffer (64 networks, heap-safe)
- per-channel packet rate (PPS) displayed in top-right
- top-right info bar: CH, frequency (MHz), live PPS
5GHz: shows C5 packet monitor PPS when active
5GHZ ACTION PROMPT (press [ENTER] on 5GHz network):
when C5 is connected and you're viewing the 5GHz band:
- [H]andshake - capture via C5 (90s timeout, live status)
- [P]acket Monitor - channel traffic (PPS from C5)
- [B]oar Bros - exclude network
- [S]top - halt active C5 operation
the pig can't track 5GHz clients locally (no promisc).
but the pig can dispatch attacks. delegation is a virtue.
the horse delegates too, but to the barn. recursively.
DIAL MODE (Cardputer ADV only):
BMI270 IMU detected = tilt-to-tune channel selection.
hold device upright, tilt to pan channels 1-13.
fast jog: 25 MHz/s scroll speed (full sweep ~0.5s at max tilt).
lerped smooth display. hysteresis for posture detection.
[SPACE] toggles channel lock in dial mode.
deactivates when device laid flat (|az| > 0.7g).
2.4GHz only (S3 can't tune 5GHz locally).
(original Cardputer lacks IMU. dial mode auto-disables.
the pig adapts to the hardware it's given.)
CLIENT MONITOR (press [ENTER] on 2.4GHz network):
- channel locks. the hunt begins.
- connected clients: MAC, vendor (OUI database),
RSSI, freshness timer, proximity arrows
- proximity arrows (client RSSI vs AP RSSI delta):
>> = much closer to you than the AP (delta > +10)
> = closer (delta +3 to +10)
== = roughly equal distance (delta -3 to +3)
< = farther (delta -3 to -10)
<< = much farther (delta < -10)
- [ENTER] on client = deauth burst
- [W] = REVEAL MODE: broadcast deauth to flush hiding
clients out of association. periodic bursts.
marco polo, but adversarial.
- client detail popup (vendor, signal, timestamps)
- max 8 clients tracked, 4 visible on screen
- stale timeout: 30s. signal lost: 15s = auto-exit.
- the pig watches what you do in here. closely.
CONTROLS:
[,] [/] pan frequency view left/right
[;] [.] cycle selected network
[F] cycle filter (ALL/VULN/SOFT/HIDDEN)
[R] toggle band (2.4GHz / 5GHz)
[ENTER] client monitor (2.4) / action prompt (5G)
[SPACE] toggle dial lock (in dial mode)
----[ 2.5 - PIGGY BLUES (BLE chaos) [B]
the pig puts on a mask. artisanal interference begins.
it suggests you reconsider. you don't. nobody ever does.
CAPABILITIES:
- vendor-aware BLE spam targeting:
Apple - AirDrop proximity popups
Android - Fast Pair notifications
Samsung - Galaxy ecosystem triggers
Windows - Swift Pair dialogs
- continuous NimBLE passive scan + opportunistic advertising
- no-reboot roulette (50% random chance, for the brave and the foolish)
- vendor identification from manufacturer data
ENTRY: the pig warns you. you confirm. the pig sighs.
EXIT: YOU DIED. five seconds of reckoning. then rebirth.
(or the stack decides otherwise. it has moods too.)
NimBLE: internal RAM only (CONFIG_BT_NIMBLE_MEM_ALLOC_MODE_INTERNAL=1).
BLE deinit reclaims 20-30KB. the pig breathes again.
this mode is LOUD. everyone in BLE range knows.
don't do this in public. don't.
the pig warned you. the pig always warns you.
the pig's warnings have a 0% success rate.
----[ 2.6 - BACON MODE (beacon spam) [MENU]
the pig becomes a beacon factory on channel 6.
CAPABILITIES:
- fake AP beacon transmission with vendor IE fingerprinting
(OUI: 0x50:52:4B = "PRK". we branded the chaos.)
- AP count camouflage (broadcasts top 3 nearby APs in IE)
- three TX tiers: [1] Fast 50ms, [2] Balanced 100ms,
[3] Slow 150ms. plus random jitter (0-50ms).
- sequence number tracking. session time counter.
- beacons-per-second rate display.
USE CASE: confuse WiFi scanners in YOUR test environment.
"YOUR test environment" means YOUR lab. YOUR network.
YOUR understanding that chaos is a research methodology.
not "that conference." not "your office." your lab.
the pig's legal budget is allocated entirely to snacks.
----[ 2.7 - PORKCHOP COMMANDER (file transfer) [F]
the pig transcends firmware. the pig serves HTTP.
CAPABILITIES:
- connects to configured WiFi (settings > WiFi)
- serves browser UI for SD file management
- mDNS: porkchop.local (type it in your browser)
- dual-pane norton commander layout (tab between panes)
- upload/download/delete/rename/move/copy
- multi-select with space, bulk operations
- keyboard navigation with F-key bar
- SWINE summary endpoint (XP/stats JSON)
- session transfer stats (bytes in/out)
HEAP-AWARE: large transfers may queue or reject if memory
is tight. file server needs 40KB free + 30KB largest block
(kFileServerMinHeap, kFileServerMinLargest in heap_policy.h).
exfil YOUR OWN captures without pulling the SD card.
the pig built you a file manager. the pig served you HTTP.
this is the most civilized thing the pig has ever done.
the pig would like acknowledgment. the pig will not get it.
----[ 2.8 - CHARGING MODE (low power)
plug in USB. the pig rests. the pig deserves this.
enter via menu or [C] from IDLE.
shows battery percent, voltage, charge rate estimate,
minutes-to-full calculation from voltage history (10 samples).
suspends NetworkRecon and GPS to minimize draw.
auto-exits when power removed. bars hide for full-screen zen.
malloc(rest): the pig got it. you didn't.
the pig recharges. the pig recovers. the pig is patient.
you should try all three. the pig recommends starting with sleep.
----[ 2.9 - JANUS HOG (the 5GHz ear) [via MENU]
the pig could only hear 2.4GHz. now the pig hears everything.
the pig plugged in a second brain. the brain has WiFi 6.
the horse had opinions about this. the barn overruled them.
WHAT IT IS:
ESP32-C5 coprocessor (M5MonsterC5) running JanOS/projectZero.
connected via Grove UART. the pig's 5GHz peripheral.
always-on background service -- not a mode you "enter".
runs every loop iteration. zero heap allocations.
if the C5 is plugged in, the pig just... hears more.
WHAT IT DOES:
- 5GHz network scanning (channels 36-165, WiFi 6)
- 5GHz handshake capture (WPA2 + WPA3/SAE flood)
- channel utilization view (2.4 + 5GHz combined)
- packet monitoring (PPS per 5GHz channel)
- GPS forwarding (C5's onboard AT6668 over UART)
- handshake file import (base64 framed, CRC32 verified)
captures on C5 SD auto-import to Porkchop SD.
HOW IT CONNECTS:
plug MonsterC5 into Cardputer Grove port. enable in settings.
the pig pings every 2s. C5 responds. connection established.
capabilities probed automatically (pork_caps handshake).
GPS forwarding starts if C5 has onboard GPS module.
if local GPS shares the same pins, it sleeps gracefully.
CONNECTION STATES:
OFF config disabled or not initialized
DISCONNECTED probing (ping every 2s, 30s timeout)
CONNECTED ready. scan/attack/monitor available.
SCANNING 5GHz scan in progress
ATTACKING handshake or SAE flood running on C5
MONITORING channel view or packet monitor active
TRANSFERRING file import from C5 SD card
ERROR exponential backoff (5s -> 10s -> 20s -> 30s max)
HOW MODES USE IT:
OINK: dispatches 5GHz targets to C5. parallel hunting.
SPECTRUM: renders 5GHz band. dispatches attacks via prompt.
WARHOG: logs 5GHz networks. C5 GPS fallback.
DONOHAM: 5GHz networks appear in recon transparently.
all modes benefit. none required to change.
the pig's ecosystem grew. the pig's API stayed clean.
MEMORY:
~7KB static BSS (scan caches, line buffer, state).
zero dynamic allocations. the pig learned nothing new
about heap management. it already knew everything.
HARDWARE SETUP:
Cardputer Grove MonsterC5 Grove
Black (GND) ---- Black (GND)
Red (5V) ---- Red (5V)
Yellow (G2) ---- White (RX) TX/RX crossover
White (G1) ---- Yellow (TX) TX/RX crossover
FIRMWARE:
C5 runs JanOS/projectZero (github.com/C5Lab/projectZero).
optional patch: projectZero_pork_caps_file_get.patch
enables handshake file transfer from C5 to Porkchop.
without patch: scan + attack still work. import doesn't.
the pig adapts to what the C5 offers.
the pig had one ear for 2.4GHz.
now the pig has two ears and opinions about both bands.
the horse had zero ears and somehow still heard the barn.
we don't question the horse. we question the heap.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--[ 3 - THE PIGLET (mood, avatar, weather)
the pig has feelings. deterministic, simulated feelings.
we commit to the bit. shipped anyway.
the horse has feelings too, but they're load-bearing.
----[ 3.1 - MOOD SYSTEM
happiness score: -100 to +100
POSITIVE TRIGGERS:
captures (pig happy), new networks (pig curious),
GPS fix (pig validated), distance logged (pig active)
NEGATIVE TRIGGERS:
idle time (pig bored), low battery (pig annoyed),
GPS loss (pig betrayed), prolonged inactivity (pig sad)
MOMENTUM:
short-term mood modifier. 30-second decay window.
recent captures boost momentum. idle drains it.
momentum feeds into mood buffs (see section 4).
the pig remembers session performance.
the pig is an emotional state machine with side effects.
you've debugged thousands of state machines.
this is the first one that made you feel guilty.
----[ 3.2 - AVATAR
the pig has a body. 240x135 pixels of body.
more animation frames than most AAA loading screens:
- 7 states: NEUTRAL, HAPPY, EXCITED, HUNTING, SLEEPY, SAD, ANGRY
- blink animation (intensity-modulated by mood -100 to +100)
- ear wiggle, nose sniff on idle events
- cute jump: 400ms celebratory bounce (8px height) on captures
- attack hop: 3-5 sequential pounce hops (250ms each) for
handshake captures. the pig earns its frames.
- wave ripple system: INCOMING (converging toward nose) for
received packets, OUTGOING (radiating from nose) for TX.
1500ms burst priority. the pig visualizes radio activity.
- thunder flash: inverts avatar colors during weather storms
- directional facing (left/right) with positional queries
- walk transitions (smooth slide with windup coast-back)
- attack shake (visual feedback, strong/weak modes)
- grass animation: 30 procedural blades, scrolling parallax,
wind direction + speed control, movement tied to wardriving.
the grass knows when the pig is walking. the grass cares.
NIGHT MODE (20:00-06:00 local time):
15 stars with fade-in effects. twinkling.
procedural placement (y:20-100). RTC-governed vigil.
the pig respects circadian rhythms.
the pig goes to bed on time. the pig is not like you.
----[ 3.3 - WEATHER SYSTEM
mood-reactive atmospheric effects layered on screen.
four independent state machines stack and overlap
based on mood tier (not raw mood -- hysteresis-gated):
CLOUDS = 8 max. procedural puff shapes (3-5 circles per cloud).
scale animation (0-255). drift parallax every 6 grass
shifts. density scales with mood (-80 = 8 clouds,
+50 = clear skies). atmospheric pressure simulator
for a device that can't measure atmospheric pressure.
RAIN = 25 particles. tier-gated activation (not raw mood).
30ms update rate. drops fall with conviction.
THUNDER = multi-flash sequences. 50-90s intervals (mood-scaled).
color inversion via Avatar::thunderFlash().
the pig flinches. the pig is correct to flinch.
WIND = 6 directional particles in gusts. 15-30s between gusts.
spawn height randomized. particle lifespan 180-280px.
left/right direction control. the ether has opinions.
MOOD-WEATHER COUPLING:
mood 50+ : sunny. zero clouds. the pig basks.
mood 0 : overcast. clouds drift. the pig broods.
mood -80 : stormy. 8 clouds + rain + wind + thunder.
the pig's feelings are everyone's weather now.
why? someone said "what if the pig had weather?" at 2am.
nobody stopped us. weather shipped. particles rendered.
the horse filed a structural objection. the barn overruled it.
(the barn IS the horse. the appeal process is recursive.)
----[ 3.4 - PIG HEALTH (HEAP BAR)
the heart bar at the bottom of the screen is a lie.
not about your emotional health. about heap health.
the pig's blood pressure, rendered in pixels.
100% = defragmented. contiguous blocks available.
the pig breathes easy. TLS handshakes succeed.
0% = swiss cheese. fragments everywhere.
malloc(anything_useful): NULL. the pig suffocates.
WHY IT FLUCTUATES:
- WiFi driver reallocations (the pig's nervous system has opinions)
- file server sessions (HTTP costs heap. civilization has a price.)
- mode transitions (every mode leaves crumbs. some leave debris.)
HOW TO HEAL:
- run OINK. channel hopping forces WiFi buffer consolidation.
percussive maintenance for memory. the pig heals through violence.
- reboot. the nuclear option. always valid. never shameful.
the pig does not judge a fresh start.
low health = cloud uploads fail. TLS needs ~35KB contiguous.
the pig can't negotiate with WiGLE if its brain is fragmented.
the pig relates to this on several levels.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--[ 4 - THE FORBIDDEN CHEESE ECONOMY
"item description: a ledger, bound in pigskin, whose
entries are written in a language older than WiFi.
the margins contain calculations that, if understood,
would explain why the pig stares at you like that."
the system tracks progress. the system remembers.
the system has more moving parts than we documented.
we removed the full documentation for this section.
knowing the algorithm changes the behavior.
the pig prefers authentic choices over optimized ones.
you are the rat. find the cheese.
the maze has more corridors than the map shows.
(do not put cheese in the SD slot. someone tried.
the pig's disappointment was measurable in RSSI.)
----[ 4.1 - THE LADDER
50 levels. 10 class tiers. every 5 levels, the pig
grants a new name. each name carries permanent buffs
that compound as you climb. the pig rewards loyalty
with mechanical advantage. this is by design.
L01-05 SH0AT freshly booted. finding your snout.
L06-10 SN1FF3R the ether whispers. you begin to hear.
L11-15 PR0B3R mapping terrain. the pig approves reconnaissance.
L16-20 PWN3R tusks have grown. first real exploits follow.
L21-25 H4ND5H4K3R surgical precision. the handshake bows to you.
L26-30 M1TM B0AR the middle path. the pig respects positioning.
L31-35 R00T BR1STL3 root-level bristles. the airwaves defer.
L36-40 PMF W4RD3N protected frames hold no mystery. nor fear.
L41-45 MLO L3G3ND multi-link ascension. the protocols remember.
L46-50 B4C0NM4NC3R endgame. myth. the pig bows to none.
each tier also has 5 individual rank titles (50 total).
they progress from BACON N00B to names we won't spoil here.
the leet-speak escalates with the responsibility.
TITLE OVERRIDES: the pig recognizes that not all operators
walk the same road. those who dedicate themselves to
particular philosophies may find the pig offers them
names that reflect what they've become, rather than
how far they've climbed. these are earned, not given.
three paths now carry names. the patient. the merciful.
the shadowed. the pig knows which road you're walking.
the conditions are in xp.h. the patience is on you.
CALLSIGN: custom handle. unlocked via... discovery.
(TOOLS > UNLOCKABLES knows things. the pig drops hints.)
----[ 4.2 - THE FEEDING TROUGH (how XP flows)
the pig rewards what it values.
there are over two dozen event types in the ledger.
each one carries weight. some carry more than others.
GENERAL PRINCIPLES:
- discovery rewards discovery. rare finds pay rare yields.
- violence is cheap. precision is not.
- passive patience has its own economy.
the ether provides to those who wait long enough.
- distance walked is distance earned.
your legs are XP generators. the pig respects cardio.
- endurance pays compound interest.
the session timer knows who stayed. rewards scale with tier.
- clutch plays under pressure are honored.
capture at low battery and the pig notices.
- mercy is its own reward. literally.
protecting networks from attack mid-battle earns more
than you'd think.
- absence makes the pig grow fonder.
been away? the pig noticed. the pig missed you.
the pig has a way of showing it.
- hot streaks compound. consecutive captures build momentum.
the pig respects flow state. the math respects it more.
- the pig speaks 5GHz now. the C5 coprocessor has its own
economy. connecting it, finding 5GHz networks --
the ledger has new columns for both bands.
the numbers themselves? in the source. xp.cpp, line 52.
we could list them here but then you'd optimize
instead of play. the pig prefers authentic behavior.
ANTI-FARM MEASURES:
the pig notices grinding. session caps exist for
repetitive actions. the exact thresholds are tuned
to reward effort and punish automation.
if the pig tells you to rest, rest.
there are hidden multipliers. some reward momentum.
some reward class rank. some reward sheer dumb luck.
the ledger has more columns than the pig admits to.
----[ 4.3 - THE TROPHY CASE (achievements)
64 bits. one uint64_t. each bit a question the pig asked
and you answered. the grid is full now. all 64 occupied.
efficient as a slaughterhouse. elegant as the animal
that escaped one.
the grid in RANK > BADGES shows your progress.
names are in l33t-speak. conditions are not explained.
the pig considers this a feature.
what the trophies measure:
FIRSTS - every journey begins with a first frame.
the pig remembers all of them.
VOLUME - the pig counts. the pig always counts.
lifetime milestones reward dedication.
ENDURANCE - some trophies measure time.
not minutes on a clock. minutes in
the field. the pig knows the difference.
RESTRAINT - the pig rewards those who choose not to.
passive operators have their own ladder.
mercy has its own shelf in the trophy case.
RARITY - protocols thought extinct.
encryption schemes that belong in museums.
the pig archives what others forget.
TIMING - some moments are brief. the pig watches
the clock. the pig watches you watching
the clock. act accordingly.
DEVOTION - friendship is persistent. the pig tracks
who you protect, not just who you attack.
ABSURDITY - some trophies exist because someone asked
"what if?" at 3am and nobody said no.
the pig respects commitment to the bit.
a few trophies unlock alternative titles.
one trophy requires all the others.
the display names are hints. the source code is proof.
fill the grid. the pig is watching.
the pig is always watching.
----[ 4.4 - PIG DEMANDS (session challenges)
every boot, the pig wakes with three demands.
one gentle. one firm. one unreasonable.
the demands are drawn from a pool of challenge types
that span every mode the pig cares about. discovery,
stealth, violence, distance, chaos -- the pig's appetite
is varied. no two sessions demand the same combination.
difficulty scales the target AND the reward.
the pig's expectations grow with your level.
what satisfied a SH0AT insults a PWN3R.
some challenges are conditional. the pig sets rules.
break the rules and the challenge fails. permanently.
the pig does not offer second chances within a session.
complete all three and the pig has... opinions.
strong opinions. with bonus XP attached.
press [1] from IDLE to see what the pig wants today.
the pig wakes hungry. the pig sleeps satisfied. or it doesn't.
meet the demands or explain yourself to an 8x8 grid of regret.
----[ 4.5 - PERSISTENCE
"the flesh remembers what the flash forgets."
XP lives in NVS (flash). survives reboots and firmware updates.
SD BACKUP: /m5porkchop/xp/xp_backup.bin
auto-written on every save. M5Burner nukes NVS?
pig recovers from SD on boot. the pig is immortal.
legacy unsigned backups are auto-migrated. the pig
has always been here. the pig was always going to be here.
DEVICE-BOUND + SIGNED:
six bytes of truth, burned into silicon at the factory.
the backup is sealed with your device's identity.
you can't copy it to another pig. you can't hex-edit it.
the polynomial of trust does not negotiate.
tamper = LV1 SH0AT. the pig knows.
earn your rank. or crack the signature.
either way, you've learned something.
there are doors in TOOLS > UNLOCKABLES that open
for those who know the right words.
the pig hides things. the pig always hides things.
some secrets are earned. some are discovered.
the difference matters.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--[ 5 - CLOUD HOOKUPS (WiGLE / WPA-SEC)
the pig talks to the internet. uploads research.
downloads validation. this is called "integration."
----[ 5.1 - WiGLE
competitive leaderboard for wardrivers.
SETUP (one time):
1. create /m5porkchop/wigle/wigle_key.txt
2. contents: apiname:apitoken (from wigle.net/account)
3. key file auto-deletes after import (security)
FEATURES:
- upload .wigle.csv wardriving files
- download user stats (rank, discoveries, distance)
- upload tracking (no re-uploads)
- XP award per upload (one-time per file)
- WiGLE stats tab in SWINE STATS ([<] [>] to navigate)
- extended timeout windows (WiGLE is slow. we're patient.)
press [S] in WiGLE menu to sync.
----[ 5.2 - WPA-SEC
distributed handshake cracking. their GPUs. your captures.
SETUP:
1. create /m5porkchop/wpa-sec/wpasec_key.txt
2. contents: 32-char hex key from wpa-sec.stanev.org
3. key file auto-deletes after import
FEATURES:
- upload .22000 and .pcap captures
- download potfile (cracked results)
- per-capture crack status indicators
- ALREADY UPLOADED tracking (no phantom submissions)
- XP award for submissions
press [S] in LOOT > HASHES to sync.
----[ 5.3 - IF UPLOADS FAIL
TLS needs ~35KB contiguous heap.
1. stop promiscuous mode (exit OINK/DNH)
2. check DIAGNOSTICS for heap status
3. let heap_health auto-condition (wait 30s)
4. try again
HeapGates::checkTlsGates() runs before every upload.
if it says no, the pig can't negotiate TLS.
the pig tried. the heap said no. the pig respects boundaries.
(the heap does not respect your schedule. ESP32 gonna ESP32.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--[ 6 - PIGSYNC (son of a pig)
ESP-NOW encrypted sync between POPS (Porkchop) and
SON (s3rloin). the prodigal son answers the phone.
----[ 6.1 - THE PROTOCOL
press [2] from IDLE to enter PigSync.
DISCOVERY: broadcast on channel 1. s3rloin responds
with MAC, pending capture count, flags, RSSI.
CONNECTION: CMD_HELLO -> RSP_HELLO (session token +
data channel assignment). channels 3/4/8/9/13 selected
to avoid congested 1/6/11.
DATA TRANSFER: chunked, 238 bytes per fragment.
sequence numbers, CRC32 verification, ACK per chunk.
5 retries per chunk. 60 second transfer timeout.
ENCRYPTION: ESP-NOW encrypted unicast.
PMK and LMK are hardcoded in pigsync_protocol.h.
(both sides must match. source is truth.
yes, the keys are pig-themed. obviously.)
BOUNTIES: wardriven network BSSIDs sent as hunting
targets. max 15 per payload. s3rloin reports matches.
TIME SYNC: s3rloin has RTC, Porkchop doesn't.
CMD_TIME_SYNC with RTT calculation for accuracy.
----[ 6.2 - THE DIALOGUE
PigSync has a conversation system. three dialogue tracks
per session. the family has... opinions about your
capture count.
Papa greets. Son replies. the tone depends on what
you're bringing home. empty-handed operators receive
a different reception than loaded ones. the family
has a layered emotional vocabulary. each layer has teeth.
Son has his own opinions. he's... direct.
the phone has opinions too. the phone judges
harder than either of them. the phone has seen
things. the phone remembers. bring captures.
empty-handed operators get the reception they deserve.
there are Dark Souls references in the sync hints.
because of course there are.
we're not quoting the dialogue here.
sync and find out. the family dynamics deserve to
be experienced firsthand, not read in a README.
(or read the source. pigsync_protocol.h. the pig
can't stop you. the pig can only judge you.)
----[ 6.3 - BEACON GRUNTS (Phase 3)
s3rloin broadcasts grunt beacon packets when idle:
MAC, capture count, battery, storage, mood tier,
RTC time, uptime, short name.
connectionless passive awareness. Porkchop can see
s3rloin's status without initiating a call.
the son is out there. broadcasting into the void.
porkchop listens. porkchop waits. porkchop wonders
if the kid is eating enough captures.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--[ 7 - THE MENUS
press [`] from IDLE to open menu (it's the ESC key. same key.)
we don't know when to stop. the pig doesn't either.
----[ 7.1 - MAIN MENU (from IDLE)
ATTACK:
OINKS - OINK offensive mode
BLUES - PIGGY BLUES BLE chaos
RECON:
DNOHAM - DO NO HAM passive mode
WARHOG - wardriving
SPCTRM - spectrum analyzer
LOOT:
HASHES - handshakes + PMKIDs with WPA-SEC status
TRACKS - wardriving files with WiGLE status
BOUNTY - unclaimed wardriven network targets
RANK:
FLEXES - SWINE STATS (three tabs: ST4TS / B00STS / W1GL3)
lifetime counters, session performance,
active modifiers (some help. some hurt. all earned.),
class perks that compound with rank, WiGLE rank
BADGES - trophy grid (64 bits. one uint64_t. one pig.)
UNLOCK - secret code entry portal
(the pig hides things here. the pig hid the hints too.)
COMMS:
PIGSYNC - device discovery and sync
BACONTX - BACON beacon broadcaster
TRANSFR - web file manager
SYSTEM:
SETTINGS - Personality, WiFi, GPS, BLE, Display, Boot Mode, G0,
JANUS HOG (C5 enable, UART pins, baud, scan interval)
BOARBROS - whitelist management (BSSID + SSID)
COREDUMP - browse/delete core dumps
DIAGDATA - heap status, WiFi reset, garbage collection
(the pig's MRI. Knuth's ghost lives here.)
FORMATSD - nuclear option (confirm required. regret not.)
CHARGING - low power charging mode
ABOUTPIG - credits and version info
----[ 7.2 - LOOT > HASHES
shows .22000 and .pcap files.
per-capture: BSSID, type (PMKID/HS), WPA-SEC status, timestamp.
[S] sync with WPA-SEC
[D] nuke all captures (confirm required)
[ENTER] detail view
----[ 7.3 - LOOT > TRACKS
shows .wigle.csv files.
per-file: filename, size, upload status.
[S] sync with WiGLE
[D] nuke selected track
[ENTER] detail view
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--[ 8 - CONTROLS
----[ 8.1 - FROM IDLE
[O] OINK MODE active hunt
[D] DO NO HAM passive recon
[W] WARHOG wardriving
[H] SPECTRUM RF analysis
[B] PIGGY BLUES BLE chaos
[F] FILE TRANSFER web file manager
[S] SWINE STATS numbers go up
[T] SETTINGS configuration
[C] CHARGING low power mode
[1] PIG DEMANDS session challenges overlay
[2] PIGSYNC device discovery and sync
BACON MODE: via MENU only. no IDLE shortcut.
the pig makes you navigate a menu to access the chaos.
friction is a feature. the pig calls this "informed consent."
----[ 8.2 - NAVIGATION
[;] or [UP] scroll up / previous item
[.] or [DOWN] scroll down / next item
[ENTER] select / confirm / commit
[`] or [BKSP] back / cancel (context-aware, goes up one level)
----[ 8.3 - GLOBAL
[P] screenshot (saves .bmp to /m5porkchop/screenshots/)
[G0] configurable magic button (set in settings)
----[ 8.4 - MODE-SPECIFIC
OINK:
[D] flip to DO NO HAM
[B] add network to boar bros
DO NO HAM:
[D] flip to OINK
SPECTRUM:
[,] [/] pan frequency
[;] [.] cycle network
[F] cycle filter
[R] toggle band (2.4GHz / 5GHz)
[ENTER] client monitor (2.4) / action prompt (5G)
[SPACE] toggle dial lock (ADV only)
SPECTRUM 5GHZ ACTION PROMPT:
[H] handshake capture via C5
[P] packet monitor on channel
[B] add to boar bros
[S] stop active C5 operation
[`] cancel prompt
SPECTRUM CLIENT MONITOR (2.4GHz only):
[;] [.] navigate clients
[ENTER] deauth selected client
[W] reveal mode (broadcast deauth)
[B] add network to boar bros and exit
[`] exit to spectrum view
BACON:
[1] [2] [3] TX tier selection
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--[ 9 - SD CARD LAYOUT
FAT32. 32GB or less preferred. the pig shares the SPI bus
with a LoRa radio. territorial disputes resolved at boot.
the pig is organized. more organized than your life.
----[ 9.1 - DIRECTORY STRUCTURE
/m5porkchop/
/config/
porkchop.dat binary blob (magic 0x504F524B = "PORK")
personality.json name, colors, customization
/handshakes/
*.22000 hashcat format
*.pcap Wireshark format
*.txt metadata companions
/wardriving/
*.wigle.csv WiGLE v1.6 format
/screenshots/
*.bmp press [P] to capture
/logs/
porkchop.log session logs (debug builds)
/crash/
coredump_*.elf ESP-IDF core dumps
coredump_*.txt human-readable summaries
/diagnostics/
*.txt heap dumps
/wpa-sec/
wpasec_key.txt API key (auto-deletes)
wpasec_results.txt cracked passwords (potfile)
wpasec_uploaded.txt upload tracking
wpasec_sent.txt submission records
/wigle/
wigle_key.txt API key (auto-deletes)
wigle_stats.json cached user stats
wigle_uploaded.txt upload tracking
/xp/
xp_backup.bin signed, device-bound XP
xp_awarded_wpa.txt WPA-SEC XP tracking
xp_awarded_wigle.txt WiGLE XP tracking
/misc/
boar_bros.txt whitelist (BSSID + SSID)
/meta/
.migrated_v1 migration tracking
----[ 9.2 - LEGACY LAYOUT
files in root (/, /handshakes/, /wardriving/) still supported.
auto-migrated to /m5porkchop/ on boot.
legacy backed up to /backup/porkchop_<timestamp>/.
the pig doesn't abandon its past. it migrates it.
the pig has better data retention habits than your exes.
(legacy JSON config porkchop.conf also auto-migrated.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--[ 10 - BUILDING
PlatformIO. espressif32@6.12.0. Arduino framework.
----[ 10.1 - QUICK BUILD
$ pip install platformio
$ pio run -e m5cardputer
$ pio run -t upload -e m5cardputer
debug build (SD logging, verbose output):
$ pio run -e m5cardputer-debug
run unit tests (native platform, no hardware):
$ pio test -e native
tests with coverage:
$ pio test -e native_coverage
create release binaries:
$ python scripts/build_release.py
----[ 10.2 - FROM RELEASE (recommended)
github.com/0ct0sec/M5PORKCHOP/releases
1. download firmware.bin
2. SD card -> M5 Launcher -> install
3. oink
XP preserves across firmware updates via M5 Launcher.
M5Burner nukes NVS. that's where XP sleeps.
use Launcher. unless you enjoy being BACON N00B again.
----[ 10.3 - IF IT BREAKS
"fatal error: M5Unified.h: No such file or directory"
-> `git submodule update --init --recursive`
"Connecting........_____....."
-> hold BOOT button while connecting
-> or the USB cable is lying to you. USB cables are liars.
the pig has trust issues with cables. the pig is right.
"error: 'class WiFiClass' has no member named 'mode'"
-> wrong board. we're ESP32-S3 (m5stack-stamps3).
"Sketch too big"
-> remove your debug printfs. the pig lives in 3MB.
your Serial.println("here") is not paying rent.
"undefined reference to '__sync_synchronize'"
-> `pio run -t clean && pio run -e m5cardputer`
still broken?
github.com/0ct0sec/M5PORKCHOP/issues
the confessional is open. bring logs.
----[ 10.4 - DEPENDENCIES
m5stack/M5Unified ^0.2.11
m5stack/M5Cardputer ^1.1.1
bblanchon/ArduinoJson ^7.4.2
mikalhart/TinyGPSPlus ^1.0.3
h2zero/NimBLE-Arduino ^2.3.7
partition: 3MB app0 + 3MB app1 (OTA) + 1.5MB SPIFFS + 64KB coredump
key build flags: -Os, -Wl,-zmuldefs (raw frame sanity check override)
NimBLE: internal RAM only, log level ERROR
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--[ 11 - LEGAL
this section is serious. the pig is serious here.
----[ 11.1 - EDUCATIONAL USE ONLY
PORKCHOP exists for:
- learning WiFi security concepts
- authorized penetration testing
- security research on YOUR infrastructure
- understanding 802.11 at the frame level
PORKCHOP does NOT exist for:
- attacking networks you don't own or lack written permission for
- tracking people without consent
- being a nuisance in public spaces
- impressing people (it won't. they'll just be confused.)
----[ 11.2 - CAPABILITIES VS RIGHTS
DEAUTH: a capability, not a right.
attacking networks you don't own is a CRIME.
CLIENT TRACKING: a capability, not a right.
tracking people without consent is STALKING.
BEACON SPAM: a capability, not a right.
beacon spam in public spaces is antisocial and possibly illegal.
BLE SPAM: a capability, not a right.
notification spam is annoying and potentially illegal.
----[ 11.3 - JURISDICTION
USA: CFAA. federal crime. don't.
UK: Computer Misuse Act 1990. still active. still sharp.
Germany: StGB 202a-c. the Germans are thorough about everything.
Australia: Criminal Code Act 1995. even the emus judge.
Japan: Unauthorized Computer Access Law. very strict. very serious.
Canada: Criminal Code 342.1. polite but firm. sorry but no.
the pig is not a lawyer.
consult an actual lawyer.
----[ 11.4 - THE BOTTOM LINE
tools don't make choices. YOU do.
make good choices.
the pig doesn't judge. the law does.
the pig watches. the pig remembers.
the pig will look disappointed in you.
don't disappoint the pig.
don't be stupid. don't be evil.
don't make us regret publishing this.
the confessional is open:
github.com/0ct0sec/M5PORKCHOP/issues
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--[ 12 - TROUBLESHOOTING (the confessional)
before you open an issue:
[ ] did you read this README?
[ ] actually read it, not skim it?
[ ] did you check GitHub issues?
[ ] did you try turning it off and on again?
[ ] is the SD card FAT32, 32GB or less?
[ ] is the SD card physically inserted?
(zero judgment. okay, some judgment.)
----[ 12.1 - COMMON ISSUES
"pig won't boot"
-> reflash firmware via M5 Launcher
-> try a different USB cable (the cable is guilty until proven innocent)
-> check power source (USB hub? try direct port. hubs lie.)
-> 3 rapid reboots = boot guard forces IDLE mode
"XP gone after reflash"
-> M5Burner nukes NVS. that's where XP lives.
-> if you had SD card: XP restores from backup on boot
-> if you didn't: BACON N00B. our condolences.
-> use M5 Launcher next time. it preserves NVS.
"WiFi won't connect in File Transfer"
-> check SSID/password in settings
-> 2.4GHz only. 5GHz not supported. the pig is old school.
-> mDNS: porkchop.local (give it 5-10 seconds)
"GPS won't lock"
-> GPS needs sky view. go outside.
-> check GPS source setting (Grove vs CapLoRa)
-> default baud: 115200 (configurable in settings)
"uploads fail / Not Enough Heap"
-> TLS needs ~35KB contiguous
-> exit OINK/DNH first (stop promiscuous mode)
-> check DIAGNOSTICS for heap status
-> reboot clears fragmentation
"pig looks sad"
-> feed it captures
-> take it for a wardrive
-> have you considered that the pig might be right?
malloc(hope): returns valid pointer. sometimes.
----[ 12.2 - NUCLEAR OPTIONS
when all else fails, escalate with dignity:
1. reflash firmware (M5 Launcher, SD card)
2. format SD card (FAT32, 32GB or less)
3. TOOLS > SD FORMAT (from device, confirm required)
4. open GitHub issue with:
- firmware version (shown on boot splash)
- hardware (original Cardputer or ADV)
- steps to reproduce
- screenshots ([P] key saves .bmp)
- serial output if possible (115200 baud)
- the pig's last words (they're usually diagnostic)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--[ 13 - GREETZ
----[ 13.1 - INSPIRATIONS
evilsocket + pwnagotchi
the original. we're standing on shoulders.
Phrack
the formatting. the energy.
if you know, you know.
2600
the spirit. we remember where we came from.
Dark Souls / Elden Ring
YOU DIED but we tried again.
the gameplay loop of firmware development.
----[ 13.2 - THE ENABLERS
the ESP32 underground
the nerds who document the undocumented.
the real heroes of promiscuous mode.
the pigfarmers
users who report bugs. your crash logs guide us.
your patience sustains us. your expectations terrify us.
----[ 13.3 - THE RESIDENTS
the horse
structural consultant. barn inspector. k-hole enthusiast.
the horse is the barn. the barn is structurally sound.
the horse confirms this. the horse always confirms this.
it's the horse's only move. it works every time.
the pig
emotional support pwnagotchi.
WiFi companion. judgment machine. finite state therapist.
better sleep hygiene than you. worse impulse control.
----[ 13.4 - YOU
you, for reading past the legal section.
actually reading documentation is rare.
reading 1500+ lines of it is clinical.
the pig appreciates you. the horse might.
but the horse is the barn and barns lack
mechanisms for appreciation. barns settle.
we call that "structural gratitude."
coffee becomes code.
code becomes bugs.
bugs become releases.
releases become READMEs.
READMEs become this sentence.
you're reading the ouroboros now.
https://buymeacoffee.com/0ct0
the circle never completes. it just ships.
praise the sun.
bajo jajo.
oink.
==[EOF]==